google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
