love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize
