lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
