she peed on how many people?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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