one two three fourrrrnication!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
