Please, let me fuck your mom
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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