im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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