She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
