My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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