there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she smelled like a LAN party
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
