they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
