Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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