It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
