I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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