her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
