my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
