Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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