Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
