On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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