The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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