come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
