I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
