oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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