Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
