Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Duck Duck Cougar?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize