No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
