You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
