Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
