to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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