Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
