just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
