Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
