She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
