she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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