That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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