Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
