i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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