Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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