I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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