I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
