You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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