Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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