is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
