every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
