I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize