Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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