Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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