My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He shit in the fireplace
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
