I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
