Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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