apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
