I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
