saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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