please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
