Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
