we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
