His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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