oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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