I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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